In the beginning, I was born normal. I was a little over 8lbs and extremely healthy. I was a cute child with blonde ringlets and a goofy grin. Somewhere around age 7/8 I began to pile on weight. At around this time, my dad was suffering from Alcoholism and went to a few different rehabs before one finally clicked. I honestly cannot say that I remember a lot of what went on during this time. I don't know if it's because I blocked it out, or I just really did not notice because I was a child.
Could I have started stuffing my feelings that early on because I was stressed about what was going on? was my mom overfeeding me because she felt bad? was I acting like a spoiled brat and throwing a tantrum for junk food and my parents gave in because they felt guilty? or we're we all just cluess on what proper portions and moderation are? It's hard to say, and I will never honestly know. Either way I will never blame my parents. EVER. Some may disagree, but I look at it this way. Both of my parents grew up in a different time. My mother's parents would not even allow them to sit on the couch until they were over 12 years old and plastic was always on the furniture. Like many kids of the 50s, my mom and her siblings were told if they did not eat what was put in front of them, they didn't eat. They weren't allowed many sweets at all. My mom was always thin as a rail because her mother cooked odd things, like noodles with ketchup..greasey hamburger soup and other weird concoctions. My mother's parents also refused to drive them places for extra curricular activities so they had to walk miles and miles and miles to get anywhere they wanted to go.
I think because my mother was never taught balance, and her parents were so strict, by the time she had kids that started school, she totally went nuts with the food and allowed us to eat whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. She was eating foods she had never gotten to eat before either. It's hard to teach your kids proper balance if you were not taught it yourself. I think that is what we are seeing on The Biggest Loser and so many of these other reality shows where everyone in the family is overweight. It's something that goes back generations. Somewhere along the line, someone didn't learn balance and that UNlesson was passed down.
So here I am, nearly 31 years old. I have been as heavy as 277lbs and as low as 164 in my adult life. When I was 164 it was because I crash dieted and over excercised. It was my first attempt at a "diet" my senior year of highschool. Now, at 5 feet 4 inches 164 is still overweight but when you weighed nearly 100lbs in second grade, and have been going to school with kids who've seen you obese SINCE second grade, people think you look like you weigh 143 when your really 164 because they are so used to the bigger you. On another note, back in the 80s it was very akward being obese because back then you didn't see as many overweight kids, so I stuck out!!.
Skip to Part 2.
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